Lots of things about being in a real, serious relationship scare me. But the thing that probably terrifies me most? The fighting. Arguing seems to be a normal part of adult relationships. The problem here is that I don't like to fight. In fact, I would go so far as to say I hate it.
When debating this, Emmalee encourages you to ask yourself one question: "If nothing changes in this relationship, the way it is right now, would I be happy in this for the rest of my life? If you and your boo are fighting a lot, don't fret too much.
When asked whether there's such a thing as a healthy fight, Emmalee was quick to reassure me that fights are perfectly normal. She explains:. So what does that mean?
On the other hand, the two of you could bicker throughout the week and still maintain positive feelings for each other. That is totally OK.
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Sometimes, people fight because they're bored. You've got nothing better to do, so you pick on the people closest to you - namely, the person you're in a relationship with. Emmalee encourages you to take some time to check in with yourself. According to Emmalee, people often mistakenly let their loyalty and history with another person cloud their judgment.
Loyalty is a great quality, but it can be detrimental when it's your sole reasoning for staying in a relationship that makes you feel drained. On the flip side, sometimes we find ourselves in relationships with people who are our complete opposites.
It may help to sit down and have a serious conversation about boundarieswhat's safe to talk about, and how you plan to deal with this issue should it come up again. If you both respect each other's opinions, this problem doesn't have to get worse.
Arguing early in dating
Unclear relationship boundaries almost always lead to resentment, which is something that can get worse with time - for you and your partner. Once you do that, you'll have a better shot a healthy relationship. This might look like talking about how much time to spend together versus how much time to spend apart, and what you'd both like to get out of the relationship.
Knowing early on can save you from having arguments and misunderstandings years down the road.
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Open and honest communication is something you'll have to work on throughout your entire relationship. And even the healthiest couples will have ups and downs, and moments where they don't "get" each other. That said, if communication doesn't feel at least relatively easy right out of the gate, things will probably only get worse.
As Concepcion says, "Poor communication habits eventually harm the relationship. This is something you can work on, possibly again by going to therapy. But simply prioritizing healthier communication can be a big help, too.
If someone can't be respectful on the first date, imagine how they'll act on the th. This may not be something you want to wait around for, especially if their behavior is particularly bad.
They're probably not the most trustworthy person, and that's one trait can lead to a lot of problems in the future. A wandering eye is one thing.
How To Tell If The Fights In Your Relationship Are Healthy Or Warning Signs
But if you think your partner might cheator if they're giving off signs that they already are, run far away and save yourself. Joshua Klapowtells Bustle. The cheating itself isn't even the biggest problem, but the fact it's rooted in all sorts of trust and respect issues.
And that's not something many people can magically change about themselves, unless they show you they're really committed to trying. It's not uncommon to downplay financial issues in the first few months of dating. People want to make a good first impression, and you probably won't find yourself talking about finances on a first date.
Mar 16, Fighting early in a relationship doesn't mean you and your significant other are doomed, but there are some decisions it's important to make together in the first few months of dating to ensure Author: Jamie Kravitz.
But that doesn't mean it's healthy to hide this part of yourselves forever. Additionally, the sooner you can talk to your partner about a problem, the better. It can feel easier to avoid talking about conflict, especially when you're worried about starting a fight, but Shirey says that avoidant behavior might actually be indicative of an unhealthy dynamic.
Both Shirey and Pharaon mention John Gottman's studies about relationship success or failure.
Gottman's research shows that the four greatest predictors your relationship won't last are contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. She says that contempt means communicating a sense of superiority.
Shirey describes criticism as a lighter version of contempt - a complaint about who your partner is as a person. Criticism is easier to bounce back from than contempt, but it still needs to be addressed. If it feels like everything is a fight, if you're always raising your voice, calling each other names, or feeling forced to walk away, you need to pause and think about whether this is a good relationship to stay in.
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