ated: December 9, Reader-Approved References. To have a God-centered dating relationship, start by finding a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. Try to avoid casual dating and only date someone if you view them as a potential life-long partner. When you start dating, avoid being physically intimate with each other since God wants you to wait until marriage before engaging in sexual activity. Instead, spend time praying together and reading scripture, as well as other fun activities, to strengthen your relationship with God and with each other.
Try to find another couple or a group of peers who are about your same age, and spend time together on a regular basis. It can also help you strengthen your relationship if you find mentors within your church. Method 2 of Continue growing your own relationship with God. For God to be central in your dating relationship, He first has to be the center of your own life. Spend time each day praying, reading scripture, and listening for His calling in your life. This will help encourage your partner to focus on their spiritual growth, as well, which will benefit you as a couple.
By starting your day out with God as the focus, it will be easier to keep Him in mind all day. Attend worship services with each other. Even if you and your partner attend different churches, try to make an effort to go to church with each other, at least occasionally. Study scripture together to grow closer to each other and God.
This intimate act will also help you feel closer to each other in a healthy, spiritual way. Pray with each other often. Prayer is one of the most important things you can do to build a relationship with God, and it should be a central part of your relationship. It can seem a little strange at first to pray together out loud, but if you practice doing it regularly, it will become a natural and beautiful part of your routine together.
Remember to pray for your partner in your personal prayers, as well. Support each other as you serve God. People feel called to serve God in a variety of different ways. You might serve Him by being a mentor, helping people in crisis, or simply by living in a way that pleases Him.
Not only should you pursue your own individual path toward serving God, but you should also encourage your partner to nourish their gifts and talents, so that they can use them to glorify God as well. You can also look for opportunities to serve together, like going on mission trips, cooking meals for families in need, or teaching a class together. The 4 types of love in the bible are Eros sensual or romantic loveStorge family lovePhilia brotherly loveand Agape the godly love of humanity.
Not Helpful 0 Helpful Different religious faiths have different beliefs about relationships. Consult with a religious leader in your community or read the holy texts of your faith if you have questions.
Most faiths encourage couples to support each other and to practice their faith together. Not Helpful 2 Helpful 4. This can mean different things for different people, but it basically means that you should not let your relationship lead you to compromise your beliefs, convictions, and dedication to your God.
Continue to seek closeness to God in your relationship and avoid behaviors that are considered unholy or sinful in your faith. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 7. Gigi King. Being single is a time to reflect upon what is it is that makes you happy, what you can do to improve upon yourself. Right now might not be the time to be with someone, because deep down inside you have to learn how to work on you, love you first in order to love someone else.
Do what makes you happy, find yourself, think about the future, what goals you wish to seek, think about yourself, and when feeling discouraged, pray. Being single can bring you closer to God, as you'll have more time to work on your relationship with Him.
Not Helpful 5 Helpful I'm dating a guy that believes sex makes us intimate.
I have tried talking him out of it, but it's not working. What should I do? If he loves you, then he will listen to you and respect your wishes. Intimacy can be gained in plenty of ways besides sex - laying and talking together, walking and holding hands, or just being together can all build intimacy. Sex is easy, but intimacy is harder. Let him know that you will not change your mind about this, but that you would like to practice building intimacy with some other methods.
Not Helpful 6 Helpful Not Helpful 11 Helpful I have a girlfriend and we had sex before I accepted Jesus Christ into my life. Can we marry, as we've agreed to abstain from sex until after marriage? Getting married is a big deal and a lifelong commitment, so don't marry just so you can have sex again.
If you love her and you're absolutely serious about making this commitment, then of course you can marry her. Not Helpful 3 Helpful Christians believe in marriage, so pursuing a girl you really like is the first step to that end. Not Helpful 8 Helpful Just make sure that you don't push things further than he is ready for, as Christianity supports abstinence up until marriage, and then only with your spouse.
As for emotions, open and honest communication is always best. Not Helpful 4 Helpful Although looks are what draw people to each other initially, it is personality that keeps them interested. Not Helpful 9 Helpful Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Keep reading!
As with Isaac, we are His sons and daughters. Oh, as for the servant who knew the heart of the father, the Holy Ghost lives within us leading and guiding us to all truth. My God, a divine connection! You got it! When we become saturated and engulfed with a passionate desire to please Him, our desire becomes or shall I say is His desire. The Holy Spirit is in us creating a desire towards that which pleases the Father. God has a mandate on earth written from heaven that only the two of you together can fulfill to get the optimal results.
I always say, as I learned from a mentor of mines Dr. Myles Munroe some 18 years ago, that where purpose is not known abuse is inevitable. So, before entering into courtship, do a little homework first. Then find out your own individual purpose.
It is the discovering of it that qualifies you for your mate. Love Him with your whole heart, your whole soul and your whole body. Because God is love, as we fall head over hills in love with Him, He will teach us how to love, honor and respect each other.
This type of love can only be manifested in those that are in Him. You say how? Because they are without Christ - meaning they have no head. They have no governing authority. This is why they can treat you any kind of way and have no real conviction.
Since courtship is designed to lead to marriage, this is a perfect time to get your house in order. Work on your character and your integrity. Understand the significance of covenant keeping.
In the Old Hebrew, almost every decision made was ratified by a covenant. In the simplest terms, it is sexual relations outside marriage.
At least on the surface, society generally seems to admit that pornography is lewd and vile, and ruins lives. Yet, ever-growing millions secretly view it. But fornication is even more destructive! This is never the case! God designed sex to be within marriage. When sex occurs outside marriage, it destroys relationships-and ultimately the individuals involved! There are numerous wrong forms of dating today. In addition, the vast majority of people seeking marriage partners lack quality social organizations and places from which to draw potential partners, as well as recognized social institutions that can correctly teach them how to date.
Many freely admit that the following popular, trendy forms of dating are not the right solutions-that they do not really work. The atmosphere in these establishments causes participants to lose all semblance of self-control.
Further, the noise is so loud that audible conversations are practically impossible.
Courtship and dating gods way
Could anyone in such an environment, filled with alcohol and focused on the thrill of the moment, possibly employ sound reason and logic to make right dating choices? The clear answer is no! Rather, they are focused only on fulfilling sexual urges and desires! Some websites see 10, registrants a day! Advocates of this type of dating have gone so far as to say that online dating could actually fix what is wrong with marriages today.
After a close analysis, couples are matched. As a direct consequence, however, sex crimes have also dramatically increased. In Japan alone, sex crimes due to online dating nearly doubled between and Needless to say, newspapers are filled with accounts reflecting the danger of meeting strangers through the anonymity of a computer or the classified adsa similar type of dating.
At the end of the evening, they choose whom they would like to date. Only five minutes is the basis for their decision! Physical appearance obviously turns into the main consideration-and many are now beginning entire relationships like this.
A November USA Today cover story described the enormous shift in the way young adults date and select mates. Back then, there existed something called courtship, in which couples came together with the help of college mixers, church socials and meddling parents, and were often engaged before their 21st birthdays.
Nor do they have the time to look for a mate the old-fashioned way-or wait for one to stumble into their lives. Obviously, dating in the 21st century has radically changed from just a few years ago-and the concept of courtship has become all but extinct. Space does not permit the listing of all the wrong forms of dating that have resulted in what we see today. But realize that you have much to unlearn! Most of what you have learned and been conditioned to believe about dating is not correct!
It is founded on wrong feelings of lust and selfishness! Accept that as fact! To construct a huge skyscraper in the middle of a city, experienced engineers would first examine the land, before planning, let alone laying, the foundation. The bigger the structure, the stronger the foundation required to support it.
Miscalculation can lead to disaster. Therefore, every precaution is taken to make sure that it is built correctly. Otherwise, an enormous amount of money and effort would be spent in vain.
Why do billions of people seem unable to apply the same principle to their own lives, especially when so much is at stake? Sadly, no school of marital architecture or engineering is teaching how to do this.
Jesus was a carpenter. He knew what this first step meant to the building process and later stability of the structure.
The world does not understand that proper dating and courtship form the rock-solid foundation that every marriage must stand on. Instead, most unconsciously build marriages on little more than emotional and psychological sand! When troubles come into marriages-as they invariably do-failure results because they are improperly anchored.
How many years are required to build a towering skyscraper? Including clearing the worksite, digging and pouring the foundation alone can often take many months, or even a year. Likewise, it takes much time and effort to build a successful, solid relationship.
Most human beings live their lives guided by feelings, and many times by mere momentary impulse. Using their own logic and experience, countless couples do not realize that absolute destruction lies ahead. Another important ct of this analogy is that the foundation is not often noticeable. When standing amid a neighborhood full of houses, foundations are not easily seen.
Jan 02, Answer: Although the words "courtship" and "dating" are not found in the Bible, we are given some principles that Christians are to go by during the time before marriage. The first is that we must separate from the world's view on dating because God's way . Mar 23, In modern dating, intimacy precedes commitment. In biblical dating, commitment precedes intimacy. The modern dating approach tells us that the way to figure out whether I want to marry someone is to act like we are married. If we like it, we make it official.
In a city, the huge concrete pillars that go deep into the ground under the skyscrapers are concealed. The same is true of dating, courtship and other areas of our lives. Often, we may not see the foundation, but it is critically important! In the first stages of a relationship, when one is having a good time, all can seem wonderful. On the surfacea relationship founded on lust and infatuation is often hard to distinguish from one based on true biblical principles.
Infatuation often comes disguised as true love, and few can-or will-see the difference. Nevertheless, the relationship built on infatuation is almost certain to collapse and often so will some of the many lives directly connected to itand usually very quickly, while the one built on true love will not. But all those involved-participants and observers-were blind to the importance of a solid foundation. Happy marriages do not come about by chance! Success requires much work and patience, and preparation must start before beginning to date.
And the foundation of true marital success has several components. Yet, there are attributes of God, and very critical elements of His laws and principles, that must be understood to form a proper foundation in order to realize a happy and abundant life. The world is ignorant of the true God and His laws.
You must be willing to absolutely prove the existence of the true God. This book is designed for those who will be able to understand the principles it contains, which are based upon what the God of the Bible teaches.
Scores of passages would be necessary to fully understand the true God of the Bible. Within His Master Plan is a supreme purpose for every human being. Recall that He also taught Adam and Eve His Law and explained how, if kept, this would bring wonderful happiness and joy to their lives.
The Bible teaches that there are two different, opposing ways of life. The give way is outgoing, outflowing concern for the needs, concerns and welfare of others. It is focused away from self!
While His Way reflects the give way of life Jms. As simple as this sounds, your dating will reflect either the get or give way of life. Though most will never admit it, they are almost totally preoccupied throughout their lives with getting, accumulating, satisfying, and focusing on the self.
The average person views a date with one thing in mind, from the perspective of the number one person in his life- himself! Influenced by your carnal nature, you will automatically-naturally-think selfishly, always putting your needs first. Be determined from now on to ignore those selfish desires. When approaching each ct of dating and courting, keep this fundamental perspective in mind.
You are here-you were born-to give to others. Actually, when fully understood-and there is not enough space to cover more than the basics of it here-learning to give is the greatest goal in life!
In dating and courtship, this approach will benefit you in untold ways if you always keep it in the front of your mind. Always ask yourself and be concerned with what kind of date you are givingrather than what the other person is doing-whether you are getting from the other person what you expect, because you expect him or her to do the giving.
And, in effect, this is what you are saying if you are focused on getting a good time. Man has established millions of laws. To most, these are merely considered to be ten Jewish principles of morality. Yet these commandments are far greater than that! The Ten Commandments are summarized as love toward God and love toward fellow human beings. The first four teach man how to love God. The last six of the Ten Commandments instruct man how to love his fellow man.
You shall not commit adultery.
5 Stages of A Relationship Done God's Way
You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. The Ten Commandments form the only true foundation of every ct of the right way to live-including how to form and maintain proper relationships.
This Law existed before Moses-from the time of Creation. All ten were magnified in the New Testament and are still in effect today. Christ referenced several of the Ten Commandments in the New Testament, in each case magnifying and strengthening them. This is the perspective that one must take to understand correct dating and courtship.
Although the Bible does not tell us specifically how to approach every ct of dating and courting, there are principles that must be applied to build a successful, long-lasting relationship. Everything you do in the course of dating and courtship should be based on givecontinually asking if your conduct reflects both love toward God and love toward your neighbor.
Sin is the opposite of love, and this includes vanity. Competition, strife argumentsgreed, envy, jealousy, hatred and lust all stem from vanity. The briefest look reveals that relationships today are filled with these attitudes. The Bible also says that when-not if -you sin, you automatically earn the penalty of death Rom. Many religious leaders teach that Christ died for our sins and that His shed blood cleanses us from sin. Have you noticed that they never define what sin is -that they never challenge people to search their Bibles to see how God defines sin?
But what law? Is the law sin? God forbid. Again, what law was Paul writing about? This is the Tenth Commandment, found in Exodus and Deuteronomy Paul and John were both clearly referring to the Ten Commandments. Both apostles taught that breaking this Law is sin. For He that said, do not commit adultery, said also, do not kill.
Of course, James was also referring to the Ten Commandments. People may go through life without ever physically committing a murder or adultery, or stealing or lying. Nevertheless, all have sinned. Because even when we obey the letter of the Law, we can break the spirit of the Law in our minds -and this is sin. Sin always begins in the mind. Given enough time, what you think about eventually becomes what you do Prov.
Then when lust has conceived, it brings forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, brings forth death [the wages of sin]. Most never make the connection between thoughts and actions. The Bible records a tragic example of how lustful thoughts can lead to disaster. This story bears examination at this point to see how lust can conceive one sin, that leads to others, and results in death. One spring evening, as David walked on the roof of his palace, he spotted a woman who was bathing II Sam.
Jamal's creative ability to present the complex things of God in a way everyone from a child to a senior citizen enjoys and understands has made way for him to travel and speak to churches around the US. His passion for marriage and healthy relationships stem from his personal love story that God . God's way. You KEEP taking your past ways of thinking from the world. into your courting relationship and you find yourself having to choose between GOD and your man, often. So you both have sex, repent and give that area to God. OVER & OVER again. Courtship is a choice to avoid temptation and experience the blessings of purity. It is a choice to not emotionally give away your heart, piece by piece, to many others through casual dating relationships and instead to give your whole heart to your life partner. It is a choice to wait for God's best, for His glory.
These thoughts led him to inquire about the woman vs. Unfortunately, this did not stop David from going forward to break the Seventh Commandment by committing adultery with her vs. His sin also involved breaking the Eighth Commandment. These sins eventually resulted in the birth of an illegitimate child vs.
Courtship vs Dating
Earlier, wanting to cover up the pregnancy, David conspired against Uriah, who had been away faithfully fighting a war for his king. These actions broke the spirit of the Ninth Commandment-bearing false witness. What began merely as impure thoughts led to multiple sins-and catastrophic results! Sin often begins in a seemingly harmless and innocent manner, but unless stopped and repented of in the early stages, it leads to catastrophe and complete destruction.
Eventually, when David came to see his sins as God did-as terrible lawbreaking and iniquity-he repented. The need to establish and then build on the basics is especially important with dating and courting.
If one is not rooted in sound, clear understanding, it is impossible to build a sturdy house-physically or spiritually. The Bible further compares Christians to general contractors-builders. But let every man take heed how he builds thereupon. For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. What you have learned to this point is precious knowledge. We could ask: Are you determined, in any potential relationship, to build with gold, silver and precious stones?
We have seen that when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, they cut humanity off from God. Therefore, mankind is also cut off from the source of real love. You need no longer be ignorant of this.
Does God give you a boyfriend or a girlfriend?
God created men and women with the ability to love and be loved-and He wants them to experience this in their lives. You can find true love in a relationship-and we have seen that it is far different than simple infatuation-but to do this you must first understand what it is! This word means the love of go and to understand the fullest love that can be shared between a man and a woman, we must first know what the love of God is.
The Bible is the sole authority. Sadly, while every professing Christian wants to experience the love of God, most believe that the commandments are grievous-and harsh! Is it any wonder that the state of dating, courtship and marriage today is in such confusion, yielding so many tragic results and ruining so many lives? What hope could any marriage have without understanding and having access to the love of God?
Recognize that the commandments and the law are the same. Where is the harshness in a law God equates to love? As with sin, only God can define real love! Recognize that God is the only Source of true love, and only through His Word-the Holy Bible-can we find exactly what constitutes true love between a man and a woman.
Parents and children, siblings and close friends all share this type of love in their relationships. But the Greeks also had a third word for love, eros.
You may recognize the English word eroticwhich is derived from it. Eros is romantic, sexual love between husband and wife, but it is not lust! Remember, it is a form of love, which God designed to be the pinnacle of physical pleasure when expressed in a marriage relationship between husband and wife, the only proper place for it.
Clearly, eros is not wrong, but it should never be the only form of love in a marriage. Sadly, however, most couples have no idea that marriage cannot be based solely on romantic love. This excludes both of the much deeper forms of love that couples can go on to experience.
While romance and sex certainly bring some happiness and closeness in a marriage, and this is not to be understated, this is not enough to make the relationship truly fulfilling-or for it even to last. Grasp this! Though the love of friendship and companionship is vital, both philia and eros are-and can only be-practiced on the physical level.
The love referenced here, as with so many other scriptures, is agape. God expresses this love to mankind spiritually through His Holy Spirit working in converted minds. Recall Romans Agape is not merely a feelingalthough it can involve various feelings. It is a conscious, controlled way of thinking. All three forms of love are important, and vital, for the bond of marriage to remain strong-and to endure. But remember, these three are vastly different.
Philia is the love within friendships. Eros is the love expressed through romance and sex. Agape is the most critical and important love- spiritual love. Some marriages never get beyond eros. Others grow to involve a genuine philia for one another. But marriages-and any other relationships-that reach the pinnacle of supreme happiness have graduated to agapethe greatest form of love.
While the first two may, over time, come naturally to a relationship, agape is not natural in human beings. This is truly the dimension of which the world knows nothing. Again, what is true love? We have learned that it is a selfless, sharing, out-flowing concern for others that is founded on the way of give. Remember, God is love. Although man is and always has been hostile toward Him, God still gave His only Son to redeem humanity. Understand the enormity of this gift.
If Christ had not succeeded in His goal when He was human, the Father would have been utterly alone for all eternityhaving no one remaining except the angels with whom to share His love! Because God is love, He desires all to have-to experience-the same love He experiences! As this love flows through the newly converted, it will flow into his relationships throughout his lifetime.
Grasp this all-important point. This love overarches absolutely everything having to do with dating and courtship. True love is unselfish. It is not an emotional high although it certainly involves emotions. It combines both outgoing concern and genuine affection for the other person in a relationship.
But it must always continue to extend further-to include every other human being. Instead, there can only be desire - lust -at first sight! Based upon appearance, one may be attracted to someone across a room but a relationship founded on this alone is wrongand will never work. One simply cannot fall in love at first sight, although one can grow over time to deeply love a person. This develops out of mutual admiration and respect for one another, and involves, as we will learn, much thought and careful analysis.
Guided by their human reasoning, these teens sought to validate their feelings in what were inappropriate relationships.
Teens are generally incapable of analyzing their motives in a relationship, either until it has failed, a pregnancy or disease has resulted, or virginity has been lost and disillusionment has entered-in other words, when it is too late!
For some, even these are not enough to jolt them to reality. Human nature could be described as an onion with a rotten core. Any two teenagers who sincerely think they are in love must analyze the motive behind the motiveand honestly acknowledge the basis of their relationship- infatuation driven by lust! Take time to periodically reread these three passages, and remind yourself to honestly face the facts and to hear wise counsel!
Vast numbers of teenagers go down the path of sincerely believing they are in love. Deceiving themselves, they are actually ruining their lives and the lives of others! Fornication, terrible diseases, unwanted children, shamed and disappointed families, financial hardship, disillusionment, psychological problems sometimes even leading to suicidelost education, lost innocence, lost friendships, lost happiness-and lost futures -are the painful results!
Make no mistake! These things do not just apply to teenagers! Laws are laws-they play no favorites. This can-and should -be applied to every ct of life. Are you certain you are walking the right direction in your dating relationships? What dangers might you be overlooking-or ignoring? Will you set the right priorities, demonstrate character and do the right thing?
Apr 26, Dating in a Godly Way 1 Choose a partner who values their relationship with God as much as you do. If you want God to be central in your relationship, you should choose someone who is passionate about following God%(21). Dating and Courtship God's Way by David C. Pack Countless millions of shattered families began with wrong dating habits. These habits made proper courtship impossible. And the results have been tragic. The almost universal effects of modern dating demonstrate widespread ignorance, even on the most basic points of right dating. Listen, we must do it God's way from the very beginning. Courtship is the process that outlines this. If you follow the path of dating, you will soon become frustrated and discouraged because your decision will primarily be based on your likes and dislikes; your backgrounds and similarities; how well you get along and how attractive he or she is.
The single greatest goal of every person is to be born into the coming kingdom of God, to share rulership with Christ at His Return. All other goals, including pursuing and achieving a happy marriage, are of lesser importance.
However, while serious dating should wait, there is a certain type of dating that can be done before one is converted. The difference between these two stages will be explained later in greater detail. Why should baptismal status matter? Grasp this crucial fact.
Husbands and wives are to express the love of God agape to each other and, for this to be possible, God must be working within a marriage. This can only occur if His Spirit is present in both partners. Without it, you are utterly incapable of loving a mate in the way God designed.
Would you make a big business decision -certainly not as important as marriage-without first determining your chances of success?
Some marriages should never take place, regardless of how the couple feels and whether they are converted. Later portions of this book will more thoroughly address why. Many readers may have already made the mistake of marrying the wrong person, sometimes more than just one.
In almost every case, lack of maturity was involved with one or both spouses in the previous marriage. This does not mean you cannot date, but that you must adjust your definition of dating. See chapters 7 and 8 for much more detail. If you are a parent of teenagers, you should be careful not to force your children to date only those of your choosing.
This is qualified later in the book. If you do, you will drive them the opposite way. God Himself is a parent and, like every parent, He wants the very best for His children.
However, He recognizes that He made human beings as free moral agents, able to make mistakes, but also able to learn from them. And while experience is a very good teacher, it is far better and less painful to learn from instruction and from the examples of others.
As your children grow older, you should be gradually giving them more responsibility. Under your overall guidance, this will help them learn to make right decisions. During the late teens, a teenager should be making some of his own decisions. But there may be times when you need to intervene. If your teenager wants to spend time with the wrong companions, disregard all protests-step in and stop the contact!
As parents, you are often the only ones truly guiding your teenager. Be assured that if you do not teach your teenagers, someone else will-and it will probably not be what you want them to learn! Most people in the modern age no longer base decisions and actions on solid moral values. They have been programmed to act according to their feelings. Very few are any longer taught that they must learn to control their emotions. Looking back, it became, in a sense, prophetic of our entire age-and this age has had an impact on you, and it will directly affect how and with whom you form relationships in your life.
For more than a generation, most human beings have become subtly conditioned-by education, pop psychology and society-to listen to, and stay in tune with, their feelings, as a guide to their course of action in any given situation. Part of this conditioning involves people having been virtually trained to look for and almost exclusively respond to their feelings.
They have even been taught to elevate their feelings to the point of almost continually asking themselves how they feel-about almost everything! This represents an enormous change in the overall way that most people think and react-and view the circumstances in which they find themselves. Dating and courtship are not exceptions, and may have been affected more than most other areas of human activity.
Here is what is different-what has changed today. The vast majority of people, including society as a whole, once generally reacted to circumstances, and the environment around them, based on the values that they had been taught-based on ethics, principles, morals, beliefs, integrity and overall character. This meant that people once viewed matters much more on the basis of right versus wronggood versus evilproper versus improperwise versus unwiseand even law versus sin.
Sadly, and so tragically, a regard for values of almost any kind now carries very little weight in the thinking of most in the world. Millions of children and teenagers today cannot handle even the simplest obstacles, problems and challenges so basic to everyday life. More often than ever, when young children do not get their way, they throw temper tantrums if not disciplined. Usually, parents do nothing, but as these same children grow up, they eventually realize that it is unacceptable for an adult to fall to the floor, kicking and screaming.
So, most-but not all-learn to hide or suppress tantrums. But little has changed on the inside. While teens and adults may have learned to cover up some or most of their emotions on the outsidemany are still screaming, crying and going to pieces inside. This is exactly why so many grow up appearing to be mature but, in reality, have remained terribly immature. Many young people and even adults today battle moodiness, often brooding and becoming easily annoyed when they are not the center of attention.
In the pursuit of happiness, most of society almost constantly caters to their every whim and desire-without regard for the consequences. Rather than using their own minds and character to make sound decisions, they succumb to the easier path of following the crowd.
By the age of 16, a teenager has usually reached a certain level of physical maturity. It is at this point that he may begin to think more seriously about life. Yet-and this is critical to comprehend-it is usually not until around age 25 that one reaches a significant level of mental maturity. But even this applied more to generations past.
The above examples of immaturity are best described as an epidemic afflicting millions today. What is your maturity level? Are you certain that you are growing in maturity-enough to properly handle dating, and possibly courtship, assuming you are of sufficient age and conversion?
Real maturity is absolutely essential to successful dating. This is true for two reasons. First, most people do not find it pleasant to date an immature person.
If you are immature, and refuse to grow and develop in emotional and mental maturity and stability, the only people you will be able to date will be the same-immature and unstable.
Second, and more important, as you grow older and begin dating one-on-one, it is essential to have already achieved a certain maturity level before becoming serious. Love and the proper perspective of the relationship are impossible without it! A person must be mature enough to understand the implications of a serious relationship.
A lifetime of marriage and commitment may be just over the horizon! Again, take heed lest you fall! Analyze where, in your personality and character, you need to grow and develop. Work on these areas!
Set goals and move forward. Go to God and ask Him to show you other areas in which you need to grow:. Can you make right decisions? Do you take responsibility? Can you handle setbacks? Can you acknowledge your faults? Can you differentiate between infatuation and real love? Are you addicted to wrong television? Similarly, are you addicted to wrong entertainment and wrong music? Also ask yourself: Are you striving to become more well-rounded-in interest and culture? Do you have a strong work ethic?
Are you patient with others? Would others describe you as composed-in control of your emotions? Are you generally thought by family and friends to be a responsible individual? While maturity is crucial to every ct of adulthood, it is an especially vital building block for dating, courting and, ultimately, marriage! To enjoy a thriving, successful marriage, one must be spiritually, emotionally and intellectually mature! There are no exceptions. While some may seem physically and mentally able to enter a relationship, they are often unable to maintain one.
They lack too many essential qualities so necessary to endure the ups and downs that every relationship experiences. Maturity and conversion are the most fundamental building blocks of proper dating. Maturity is directly related to responsibility. Marriage is a God-plane relationship and, as a direct precursor to marriage, dating should not be a simple, animalistic pursuit of pleasure.
Yet sadly, many young people never take time to plan their future. Instead, one night of succumbing to lustful impulse can bring disaster crashing down on foolish, unsuspecting minds-an unwanted pregnancy forcing couples to begin preparing for a family without the benefit of foresight and the joy of planning.
In contrast, God began planning to expand His Family long before even creating the earth. Admit that you may need to unlearn almost everything you have absorbed, and replace it with sound biblical principles. Once armed with this new set of values, you can firmly rely on God to bless you with the best possible prospective mate.
Now that you have begun to unlearn the wrong way of thinking and understand how to build a solid foundation on God and His Way, you are ready to learn the right purpose of dating.
This chapter addresses why people date, coupling it with the practical realities that accompany this activity. If you ask several passersby on the street why people set dates to do things together, you will get a variety of responses.
These might include: To have fun, get to know other people, have a girlfriend or boyfriend, have sex, peer pressure, find companionship, defeat loneliness, etc. Some of these reasons are fine, but obviously some are not! Recognize how society has developed over the past century. A brief look at recent history shows that times and morals have undergone a drastic change.
Few customs have changed more than dress. There was once a time, in the mids, when women dressed modestly. They wore floor-length dresses, with long sleeves and high necks. Men wore shirts and ties, and such dress among men and women carried over to the workplace, and even to sporting activities. This is because people generally had much more character than those of the modern age.
And this was true even though most people then also did not know how to select the right mate. As the century turned, a new picture slowly emerged. The tradition of requiring a chaperone to accompany young couples vanished.
Even yet, young people still understood clearly-defined limits. At this point in history, a couple might have shared a short kiss, but only after their interest was serious or they had become engaged.
Society continued changing even more rapidly as the century developed. Many new books, magazines and other publications discussing and describing sex became available, and people began to throw off the restraints of prudery.
Dating is now a practice that almost immediately involves sexual intimacy.